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20 October 2006 @ 07:55 pm
Goddamnit  
This is stupid, but I don't know what to do.

I spent most of yesterday doing candidate work. I'm spending tomorrow afternoon doing candidate work. Tonight he called me up and asked me to go out for a drink at a bar near my home (with a bunch of other people). I said I would after he cajoled me. Then I called back and said no, and he said "How'd I know you were going to call back and say that?" (That would be because I nearly always don't go out with them.)

"I told you I'm not a going-out type person," I said.

"Yeah, but this is just a bar, it's not like there's going to be a bunch of people there," he said.

So great. Now I feel guilty for not going out. I don't fucking want to go out. I've been so busy this week, and I want to stay home. I get where he's coming from-- everytime we're together, it's me doing work on his campaign, and he wants to do friends things as well. That's fine. I do appreciate it.

But I don't like to go drinking. I'm bored when they talk about college sports. I want to be social, just much less often than they do. But I feel like if I keep turning them down, they're going to stop being my friends. And it's kind of pathetic, but these are the only friends I have here.

Damn it all.

PS- freak_in_need, I'm going to lie down and try to calm down, but I may end up sleeping through the night. So if you don't see me, that's why.
 
 
 
Elle: Grr arghtheletterelle on October 21st, 2006 12:25 am (UTC)
I know I'm allowed, but I worry that I'll end up with no friends at all.

I'm with you, too, on the not going out thing. I hardly ever go to theme parks or group outings. The thing with the four of us was nice, because it was a home-type thing. At least, that's how it was for me. Socializing in the home is way less stressful for me than in public.

I always want to leave parties early.

Sometimes being an introvert sucks.
Jerlugonn on October 21st, 2006 12:31 am (UTC)
I don't mind dining out with friends, but I dislike the bar thing. Sitting around a table with drinks isn't a problem. It's the idea that you should go to a "fun" bar which means it's noisy, crowded, you sit at uncomfortable tiny tables with crowds of people jostling your elbows or even worse at the bar where people can't even hear each other spread out in a line.

So for me, I have friends with whom our only real contact is occassionally going out to lunch or dinner together. We spend a couple of hours chatting over a leisurely meal and the friendship is renewed.

As long as I have a quiet, comfortable place to talk, I don't really mind going out. It's the crowds and the noise that make me wince.