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21 March 2005 @ 12:29 pm
 
I want to live a moral and ethical life. I don't think I have been. I've been allowing myself to slide on issues that are important to me. I need to determine the best way to live my life.

That involves not collecting material goods just to have them. There's a pleasure in acquisition and owning things. I need to recognize that spending money to acquire goods that I don't need is wrong. Not just recognize it when I'm on this knife-edge of feeling like I am, but when I'm better, too.

It involves wasting less. Less paper, less metal, less plastic, less gas. It involves recycling as much as possible. It involves avoiding non-biodegradable packaging, or packaging as a whole. It involves saving things I might otherwise throw out.

It involves not occupying my mind with useless things. Not wasting time on entertainment. We don't have much time in our lives; it should be fully used, not killed.

It involves living my whole life-- my work and my social life-- to make the world better than it is.

And it involves bloody well REMEMBERING THIS when I'm well, and tempted to be lazy again. It's happened before. I WILL NOT let it happen again.

I'm finding that life outside an office is so different from life working in an office. I wonder if I can manage, once we move, to have our business entirely on our property, and not be in an office again. I think that would be healthy. I think I would be happy.

I feel like I've done so badly with my life. I mourn all the money and resources I've wasted. I will not do that again.
 
 
 
Mary Lewys: licketylickmlewys on March 21st, 2005 10:15 am (UTC)
You wanna know the great thing about Life, darlin'?

Do-overs.

*grins* You get to have a do-over. *huggles* And I may have found you someone that would be great for your farm and your farm would be great for her.
(Anonymous) on March 21st, 2005 02:07 pm (UTC)
Life is to short to mourn failings. We all fail at one time or another. The trick is to learn from them and carry on. I know you're set on the biodiesel thing, but did you ever think of becoming an activist? You're certainly smart enough, and you argue a position well. You don't have to wedge yourself into a "librarian" slot. A lot of the skills you posess would be invaluable to most conservation groups. Especially the legal stuff. Perhaps use the angst you feel about the environment and channel it into changing it (the environment). Find a cause and join it. A lot of non-profit organizations hire. Like,

http://www.resourcehire.com/clients/worldwildlifefund/publicjobs/controller.cfm

or

http://sustainablebusiness.com/jobs/

But whatever you do, DO NOT work for the government or any government-related agency or contractor. The death of the Human Spirit runs rampant in such places. Take it from me - and my Wellbutrin.

Just a thought...

lanternlad

P.S. still looking for the contact info for you...