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20 June 2005 @ 01:05 pm
I'm starting to get really worried.

Sent in my resignation today. I'd intended to stay till Friday, July 8, but after this weekend, where Rob was significantly unmotivated and I didn't get nearly as much done as I'd wanted, I decided I'd better get out of here as early as possible and do as much as I can on the house. So my last day is Wednesday, July 6. 2.5 weeks. *twitches* I wish it could be sooner, but I had to give 2 weeks written notice. So there we go.

It seems like no matter how much we do, the house always looks messy, cluttered, and just hellish. The basement hasn't been neat in two years. There is just STUFF everywhere, and I don't know what to do with it, and I'm really getting worried, because we have to get the house on the market, and it's just not ready!

Closing on the new house is in a week. Dad is putting up the money for it, but is charging us prime rate (6%), which works out to over $1600/month. That's in addition to our current house payment. So we have to get this house SOLD and get the money to my dad, and with realtor's commissions, taxes, closing costs, etc., I'm not sure how much we're going to have left over. That's worrying, because we need the profit from this house to live on until we get jobs. And I'm worrying about getting a job. What if I can't find one? GAH.

The weather here is gorgeous, and now I'm flipping out about handling the hot Florida weather. I'm afraid that after 11 years in a temperate climate, I'm going to melt in the heat. I'm afraid I'm going to be unhappy.

I'm really just scared that moving is the wrong decision. I'm afraid of leaving. Now, I get like this at every move I make, I know this. I felt like this when we moved from VA to MD, and when I moved from VA to DC. But that doesn't make the worry any less. This is the first time I've gone somewhere without knowing what I'm going to be doing, or when I'll start doing it. Add to that the money worries, the house that's never done, and my constant exhaustion, and I'm going nuts.

So maybe quitting two days earlier will help. I'll either sleep for 48 hours, or I'll get lots of stuff moved into storage. After that, I'm heading to FL to pick out paint colors and look for furniture. Which I'm not quite sure how we'll pay for. Or how much we can afford.

I hate that I'm not doing anything at work. I want to go home and sleep. And then get up and get stuff done. Stuff that needs doing.

Mary Lewysmlewys on June 20th, 2005 10:23 am (UTC)
Change is hard. If it wasn't, everyone would do so willingly and there wouldn't be nearly as much trouble or drama in the world.

*BIG HUG* I'm not going to tell you not to worry, because, heh, you never listen. *grins* Instead, I'll say I'm proud of you for taking a chance. I'm proud of you for doing something about your shitty job. I'm proud of you for being responsible about this move (you really are) and handling everything.

*BIG HUG* Remember to give yourself some credit. And do schedule down time.
Elle: I want to go hometheletterelle on June 20th, 2005 12:13 pm (UTC)
*HUG* Thank you, darlin. You're right, I never listen. :)

Too much down time is the problem. We're so tired/afraid/lazy that we aren't getting enough done, and it's going to cost us big time.

I'm being responsible? Oh, thank you. :) Because so often I'm not.
Mary Lewysmlewys on June 20th, 2005 12:20 pm (UTC)
We so rarely give ourselves credit for what we do, espeically those of us who keep track of what's left to do.

*smoochies* Not that I know about this or anything. *whistles quietly*
Jen: kierajengkierajeng on June 20th, 2005 10:29 am (UTC)

Let Rob handle the worrying right now. You concentrate on making your house look all pretty. 'cause it is. You've a lovely new kitchen, and many freshly painted walls and stuff.

And if you want help, I'm there. Just let me know. I'm pretty sure I have no weekend plans--and certainly not for both days--and I'd be glad to come over and help tidy the stuff.
Elletheletterelle on June 20th, 2005 12:17 pm (UTC)
*hugs you*

Rob doesn't handle worrying. He just drifts along. To be fair, he's done a lot on the house, including working outside while I take long naps on the weekends because I'm so tired. I'm just being frazzled. *sigh*

You are such a good friend. I feel like I take advantage of you. I would love your help, but I feel like I'm a bad friend depending on you so much.

I'll be transporting stuff into storage all week, so on Friday I'll be able to take stock and figure out what still needs doing. Call me, because I know I'll forget to call you, okay? *stresses*
Jen: kierajengkierajeng on June 20th, 2005 12:34 pm (UTC)
And who let me stay in her basement for a month when I didn't have anywhere to live?

Silly. You're not a bad friend. {{{hug}}} You need help, I'm there. 's what we do. :)

I'll call you on Friday.
And The Clocks Were Striking Thirteen: Bloody Hell_redpanda_ on June 20th, 2005 10:31 am (UTC)
...your DAD is charging you interest?! Happy bloody Father's Day indeed. >.<

On the bright side, don't worry too much about the furniture -- you'd be surprise how little you can live with. ;)
Elle: Chinese Gwentheletterelle on June 20th, 2005 12:20 pm (UTC)
He charges interest when it's a significant amount, yeah. I mean, if he was just loaning me a couple thousand, he wouldn't bother, but when it's several hundred thousand, he does.

I think the thing is that he doesn't want us to depend on free handouts from Daddy, which I can understand. I've borrowed money from him before, and he's charged me interest below what others would charge, but more than he'd get from having his money in the bank. If it's a win-win situation, everyone's better off.

Besides, he paid off half my credit card when I was sick. My grandmother paid the other half. I'm not about to screech about interest. :)
Elle: Eowyn trappedtheletterelle on June 20th, 2005 12:22 pm (UTC)
Oh, and re furniture, do you guys get along without dressers? I want new dressers, not sure we'll have the money for a while, and I'm wondering if we can get rid of our current dressers so we don't have to move them, or if we should move them and hang on to them until we can afford new.
Jess Nevinsratmmjess on June 20th, 2005 12:11 pm (UTC)
Nothing I can do to help, but I'm sending you good thoughts.

Elle: I think I see the lighttheletterelle on June 20th, 2005 12:22 pm (UTC)
Thanks, man. :) *hugs you back*
Jess Nevinsratmmjess on June 20th, 2005 12:29 pm (UTC)
Thanks. I need it. :-/
LLL's Heartfelt Wish: Kyaaamuse_neko on June 20th, 2005 12:59 pm (UTC)
Everthing *will* work out for the best. Just keep believing that. Okay, our lunch timetable has moved up two days. *makes note* ^_~
avoidingnemoavoidingnemo on June 20th, 2005 01:29 pm (UTC)
Where in Florida are you moving to? Just curious. I'm sure it will all work out. Change is always scary, but it usually works out in the end. Keeping my fingers crossed for you!
Elletheletterelle on June 20th, 2005 01:49 pm (UTC)
We're moving to Sanford, about half an hour northeast of Orlando. Are you in Florida too? I need Florida friends.

God, I hope it works out. Maybe I'm just having a panic moment.
avoidingnemoavoidingnemo on June 20th, 2005 01:54 pm (UTC)
I actually live in Georgia, but am only about 3 hours from Orlando. I'm usually down that way a good bit, actually. I'm sure you will love it. Once you get passed the heat, that is! But being that close to Orlando, there is always something to do. Email me sometime (my address is on your post with the awesome icons) and I can give you a list of some of the things I enjoy when down there if you are interested.
Doe-eyed Bunnydoeeyedbunny on June 20th, 2005 04:59 pm (UTC)
I forget who it was who said that the three most stressful things a person can go through are 1) death of a loved one, 2)divorce and 3)moving.
Hang in there. Moving sucks but you will get through it.
SG22southerngirl22 on June 20th, 2005 11:23 pm (UTC)
Good luck cereselle! I'm sure everything will work out just fine.
Sonia: PETER MURPHYbellavioletta on June 22nd, 2005 04:03 pm (UTC)
It IS hot here!!!
Don't worry though!! Iam Sonia i responded to your post on Gothic Orlando...I Know alot of ppl. in the scene so if you need a friend when you get here you got one....BTW i added U-add back if U want...I noticed we shared some interests : Peter Murphy, Panic Disorders(Fun, Fun,LOL!!) Anyways Good luck on the move and everything!!, SO :)
Elle: Let me make you bleedtheletterelle on June 23rd, 2005 10:35 am (UTC)
Re: It IS hot here!!!
Yeah, I grew up in Orlando, so I know how hot it can get (and for how long, gah.) Thanks, I added you too. :) Yay, I am definitely going to need to meet new people. A lot of people I went to high school with are still around, but feh. They are so not my kind of people. :)